A Short Story about a Lackluster January

A Life Worth Living Series | Part 1

I started out January with the best of intentions. I had plans; I had goals; I was ambitious; I was excited. And then that little voice in the back of my mind started its onslaught. 

"Wouldn't it just be easier to reorganize that cupboard over there?"

"Why don't you just watch that show you've been meaning to watch?" 

"Isn't it nice sleeping in, instead of facing the cold realities of winter?"

"Oh, you can work on that tomorrow! Or even Monday!"

The cold days, the long nights, the impending threat of snow, and then the blizzards that drop two feet of snow in as many days. They are January and they wear me down and make me susceptible to that little voice that I always try to ignore.

These are not excuses. Instead this is the context for my lack of content this month. I apologize to you, dear readers, but since I know you are mostly a figment of my imagination at this point in my blogging career, I most apologize to myself for not living up to my potential. It's all the questions and doubts getting to me.

Maybe it's that I'm not sure about my content. How do I make something that is truly a reflection of myself, my dreams, thoughts, ambitions, what I think is fun and interesting about life without it becoming a cliche, hackneyed, boring or just a food blog? At the same time, I want to make something that isn't just for me but something that other people want to read. I want to connect with other people and share something "good" in this world that sometimes feels so consumed with darkness and hate. I don't want just to be shouting into that void. I like pop culture, food, music, fashion, beauty, and design, but how does that fit with I want to make a difference with this blog? How do I infused my sustainability career into my blog without being labeled as a "green blogger"? Is any of this the right thing for me? 

Maybe I need a little pep talk.

Daphne-- your blog has been sad, your life unfocused, your ability to procrastinate at an all-time high. You are the only one who knows what is right for you, what you want to achieve, and can get you there. So if you ever feel as uninspired, lackluster, and stuck as you did this January, just remember. Remember where you've been; remember where you are going (and you ARE going there-- no maybes or what ifs); remember that you are extraordinary and unique; remember how hard you've worked (even if it doesn't feel like you've worked hard enough recently). Remember that you love blogging and making videos. Remember how accomplished you feel when you've produced content that you're proud of. Don't think about your massive student debt, that you feel trapped in a snowy hell, that you'll never be as happy as you were in grad school, that you don't know what the future will bring, that you don't know what content you should be making. You'll learn, change, reassess, have some failures, some successes, hone in on your content, make a place for yourself that is uniquely you. You will find you're way through and you have a great support system that be there to catch you if you fall.  "You can get it if you really want, but you must try, try, and try, try and try. You'll succeed at last."

P.S. Find a doctor to fix your knee. This wonky knee business isn't cute anymore.

So that is my letter to myself and my apologies to you readers out there. I'm not using this post or my lack of reader (and therefore accountability) as an excuse for not producing more content. Onward to February and back to a Life Worth Living.

Continued in A Life Worth Living Series | Part 2: What does the title of this series even mean?

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